OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
