I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
