I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
