I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
