To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
