I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
