dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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