Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
