I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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