you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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