The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
