Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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