If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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