She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
