please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
