Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
