Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
