I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
