we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
