I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
