I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I still have a little drunk in my system
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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