I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
