I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
