I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
