I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
