Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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