I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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