im about as happy as oj after his trial
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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