I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
