she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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