Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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