Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
