why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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