Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
