people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
