yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
