Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
