He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
