So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
