Already got asked if we're dating
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I faked an abortion last night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
