Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
