Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
