I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
this is an emotional support booty call
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
