An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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