You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Fuck appropriateness.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
