I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
