he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
