is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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