I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
