soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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