Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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