I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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