He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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